My partner is an alcoholic: How can I help you?
Living with an alcoholic is difficult, especially if you love him and do not want to cut. People who have a problem with alcohol are hard to recognize unless they hit bottom, and for that to happen, it has to be a long time, sometimes even years. This process can be shortened if you and the rest of the family intervene by making you open your eyes. However, even so we can not claim victory because the road to abstinence will be full of potholes, relapses and regrets.
How can alcohol destroy a relationship? All drugs harm relationships, although alcohol being a drug with more insidious effects in the long term tends to tolerate more at the beginning, therefore, It is easier for the couple to endure the alcoholism of the other and even get to 'get used'.
However, the excessive consumption of alcohol causes the affected person to lose the emotional connection he has with his family. It's because a lot of your time is spent drinking and later recovering from the drunken, hangover. Logically when they drink they can not be with the family and if the results are not good.
During the hangover alcoholics do not want to have contact with anyone
During the hangover alcoholics do not want contact with anyone and usually sleep all day. The family will have less and less contact with the family and there will inevitably be a distancing when little by little the alcoholic loses the most important events of the family (a birthday, a graduation, the performance of ...).
On the other hand, intimacy within the couple is also affected. The drink can produce pointless impotence and lack of libido, also in the long term can produce a disease such as sterility, a serious problem if the woman also desires offspring.
There are many consequences that derive from drinking as the loss of money in the house. But the most serious of all of them is violence. When the alcoholic reaches the point where it becomes violent verbally or physically the relationship will be broken forever. Once the respect for the other person is lost, it is difficult for me to get it back and easy to cross that line again, for many apologies and regrets of the alcoholic to his family. Therefore, the best solution is to seek help before this situation comes to pass.
How to help your partner to get out of alcoholism Alcoholism is a disease for a large part of those who work in addictions, and as in one, if the person does not recognize that they have it, little is can do for her Therefore, if you follow these tips and still do not get your husband or wife out of alcoholism should not feel guilty because you have not been at fault, you can not help someone who does not want to help.
You have to make your partner aware of the problems caused by alcohol
1 Consciousness The addict who really wants to leave an addiction is the one who hits bottom and realizes that he can not continue like this. Therefore, if your partner does not recognize that you have a problem you can do little for him. However, you can always try to raise awareness. To do this, talk to him openly but without accusing him directly, show him the signs that he is addicted to alcohol, but do not blame him for it, just let him see his actions, without judging them, do not contribute an opinion, only the objective facts, if not, you will only get it to close in band.
For example, instead of saying "the other day at the party you got drunk and made the ridiculous" say "the other day at the party you drank 4 glasses and you fell on top of the cake". You must be calm and try to understand him, put yourself in his place. Phrases like "I know it's hard but ...", "I understand you but still you can not deny that ...", etc. Anyway, prepare yourself for a negative and a personal attack in a critical way, accusation or manipulation attempt.
2 Get professional help The chances of getting out of alcoholism without some kind of professional help are almost nil. The abstinence from alcoholism should be supervised, especially if it is a serious case of alcoholism, of several years. It is very important that a chronic alcoholic never leave the drink on his own, it is vital, he could die.
Alcohol withdrawal can be fatal in many cases when not supervised from the outside. It should be done progressively and always supervised by a professional, never suddenly. Therefore, the best way to help you get out of the disease is to go to a professional before starting the process of quitting.
Alcoholics Anonymous type support groups will be a great help. They defend that alcoholism is a disease of which one is not to blame for having fallen into it but if that has the responsibility to get up and fight. Accompany the talks the first few times. In these places they also usually hold meetings for the family, where they give advice and give you guidelines for action against possible relapses. Go to the more the better, there they will tell you what to do in what circumstances.
Unless the alcoholic decides to stop the addiction, it is very difficult for you to get it to stop
3 Ask for the collaboration of friends and family The problem should be known by the closest people, so that if the alcoholic decides to leave it will have to have full vigilance at the beginning, depending on what that the psychologist recommends. You can agree with the loved ones to take turns and be with the person. For example, one day of the week one of you can get involved with him in some kind of activity in the afternoon. It is a way for the person to fill in the gap that previously passed by drinking alcohol and try to motivate him by looking for new hobbies.
4 You never collaborate to maintain the addiction On the road to healing you will surely face your partner's blackmail so you can help him have a drink. For example, he may ask you to go get the alcohol because if he goes he could have an accident when he returns home. In this sense you have to be strict and make your position clear, saying that you do not agree, that you are free to choose but that you do not plan to provide that option. Everything that can happen to you is under your responsibility and you can not carry your actions. Do not overprotect him or justify him if you want him to recover, that way you only prolong the addiction.